Exam season = Summer of Stressed Teens
As exam time looms parents will notice the soaring stress levels in their teens. It’s time for parents to up their games and get on board!
Here are 10 things that you can do to help your teen cope, and 7 things you should definitely not do.
So what can I do for my poor bundle of nerves?
Teaching the tricks: It’s never too late to enrol your budding academic in a study skills course. Try and find one that comes highly recommended
Exercise: insist on it, they need it. The endorphins will make the student feel happier, healthier and more motivated. Nature walks are a cheap ad easy way get kids active and inspired, I recommend Walter Sisulu park for a foray into the wild.
Healthy eating FTW. The brain requires proper food to function optimally. This is not the time for junk food and energy drinks! Be a good role model and eat well yourself. Fruit, veg and high quality carbs are really important here.
Help them build a study schedule with study sessions and breaks built in. Ask the teachers for guidance on how many hours each subject requires per week and plan accordingly. Allow for Sundays (for example) to be a totally study-free day as time to chill and recalibrate.
Table time with friends or leisure time. Kids need to unwind between study sessions. So make time for it and help them plan activities at home or out. ACTIVITY HINT: visit a market not mall, fresh air is good.
Spot quiz! Quickly check their study methods, secondary school students need to when they start studying; mind maps, bullets, essays, whatever method suits your child is fine. They need to put thoughts, ideas and concepts into their own words. Just sitting there reading or highlighting a textbook is not going to help. If you find this lacking, see number 1 of this list.
Remove all screens at bedtime and study time. Make sure that phone is on airplane mode so that lurking messages don’t get their attention. Quality study time means no interruptions.
Ask if you can help with anything, if you can then do so but if not, move on. Don’t loom.
Provide a quiet, safe place for them to work without chaos and distraction. This is not the time for renovations, painting walls (I find fumes infuriating when I’m trying to focus), vacuuming or starting a smoothie schedule!
Pen(t) up. Remind kids to study with a pen and not on a computer. Not only because screen time is an issue and internet connectivity WILL lead to distraction but because exams are done with pen and paper, not on a computer. Handwriting practise is important to avoid cramping during exams, trust me on this, it really hurts!
What should we be avoiding?
Lots of stimulating screen time. Definitely not during study sessions and not even during down time. Some screen time is ok but 20 minutes of Snapchat and YouTube between study sessions does not allow the brain to relax, in fact it may set off anxiety. Allow TV and cell phone usage at the end of the day or during a long lunch break.
Don’t skip on sleep. Teens require a lot of sleep, you already know this so don’t expect them to rise at 6am and start studying. Rather allow them to work ‘til midnight and wake at 9am. Whatever is going to work, go with it (see schedule above)
This is not the time to diet. Don’t let them to start a diet right now. After exams promise to allow a juice cleanse (after a post-exams milkshake celebration, milkshakes are juices right?) or other such remedy
Don’t allow teens to indulge in mutual stress sessions with friends, they will freak each other out. Guide them away from that and toward this: teens do better planning together, studying alone and revising together by testing each other.
Don’t set their hours, let them work out a timetable and provide guidance and support.
Don’t interrupt studying during set hours. If you need to pop out to the shops, take their phone and head off quickly and quietly. Leave them to study.
Don’t quiz the kid. Don’t grill them about what they did today or what they remember. Often between study sessions their brains are still absorbing knowledge and you can confuse them by interrogating them.
One last thing before I go because exam time stress has lead to depression and suicides in the past so please take note:
I hope this blogs helps you find some peace and stability in your home in the run up to exam season. Be confidant that your teen is trying his or her best and remember that tests are not everything. Exams are important but they are not the defining moments in the young lives of teens. Exams don’t make kids healthy, they don’t teach kids compassion and they do not define their characters. Please remind your kids of that, education is super important but life beyond school is even more so.
